Why do husbands cheat on their wives?

​These are the thoughts my husband randomly came up with out of the blue for no particular reason in explaining some reasons why husbands cheat on their wives.  Since this isn’t his normal behavior, I sensed since it was important enough for him to convey his thoughts on paper, I’d share it with you. His desire is to help women understand what he believes men want but being the tough guy they believe they are don't know how to convey it.

​Guys cheat on their wives for many reasons. I do not know all the reasons but here are a few.

​When a guy and a girl are dating the guy tries to impress her with things he can do, people he knows, what he drives and what his job is. If she has a problem all she has to do is ask him and he will fix it. He can do anything; he is the go-to guy. He becomes her Knight in shining armor. They get married.
 
Most guys cheat because they are lacking something in the relationship. I have talked to guys who have been in long relationships that are troubled and these are the things they all say: she just doesn’t understand me, or she does not get me. Other say there is no physical contact; she used to be fun and now she is not fun anymore. We used to do crazy things, fun things together. Now nothing. I used to be #1 in her life. Now I feel like I am #5 or sometimes #7 in her life.
 
Most guys if not all need to be regularly told by their wives that she loves him and she is very proud of what he has accomplished. She does not know what she would do without him and she needs to show and tell him this. I believe that physical contact is critical. This could be as simple as rubbing his back with your hand when you are waiting in a line-up for something. Holding his hand on purpose or putting your arm around him when you are walking somewhere.
 
When you were dating, you would call each other, send random text messages saying you loved him, and that you could hardly wait to see him and when you did you almost ran into his arms. We men love that; we need to know that we still do it for you.
 
When was the last time you made him feel special? Put a note in his lunch box or in his suit jacket? Throw him a curve ball, and put a pair of your skimpy underwear in his lunch box or in his suit jacket pocket. When you were first married and feeling romantic did you have a secret word that you would use, that would mean, “you better look out mister, because when you get home tonight, well….” Send that to him today and you know it will put a smile on his face. It would show him that he still does it for you. Was there a song that was your song? Have that on when he walks in the door tonight. Pretend that you are dating again or that this is week 3 of your marriage.
 
Now I understand stuff gets in the way. Kids, parents, career and the day-to-day stuff but if you don’t put the effort in he needs to stay reassured, one day someone else might. I don’t think that a guy goes out and looks for a girl to fool around with. I think a girl says something to him or does something that makes him feel good about himself. It may be as simple as an email saying “good job, you hit that one out of the park” and it could go from there.
 
We as men need to feel appreciated, loved and needed. We also need someone to take care of us. You need to be a lover and a mother. You have to figure out when to be the lover and when to be the mother. This is not easy but then most/all relationships require work and the more work we put into a relationship the more we will get out of it.
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For a more in-depth perspective, you can check out chapters 14 and 15 "What women want" and "What men and women need together" in her book: Lead Me On The Journey.