Are you stuck? Which way should I go?

​I felt led to share today one of Satan’s tactics he uses to destroy our lives. It addresses the situation between married couples today where one spouse is in a situation where they are considering leaving or separating because they’ve become attracted to someone else. I believe in today's terms they call it an emotional affair. Nothing has happened as yet, but they feel stuck. Should they leave? Or stay? How exactly does this happen? The mind is the battlefield and God says Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy us. We must acknowledge his involvement to avoid being deceived and wrecking our lives.

​This is how it sometimes begins. Your relationship with your spouse is strained for one reason or another and as a result you are unhappy and unfulfilled. He or she doesn’t support you anymore; complains about your conduct in that you do too much of this, or not enough of that. It’s one criticism after another.  A common phrase begins with: “You never da ta da ta da ta da.”  The response often is “Oh yeah? Well you never da ta da ta da ta da.” What happens next is an innocent encounter with someone at work of the opposite sex that detects your unhappiness. Over coffee, you share your struggle with them. They empathize with you and it feels so good to have someone on your side who understands you for a change. The next thing that happens, is that they bring you donuts and a special coffee and that feels even better! Finally, someone who is actually thoughtful and mindful of my pain. You may even thank God for the emotional lift they provide. Before you know it, you’ve been invited out to lunch with this individual. Oh how wonderful it is to have someone in your life that you can have a meal with, with no tension, stress, or bad feelings.  

Can you see what is happening? Satan is laying the groundwork. He’s planting harmless encounters but they are anything but harmless.  As your appreciation for this person grows, your dissatisfaction with your mate grows too. Finally, this person asks you out to dinner. Now you have to lie to your spouse about why you are out at the dinner hour. I’m sure you can see where this is going.
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Satan is the king of lies and deceit. He made the fruit on the tree that was forbidden to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden look so good and fooled Eve into thinking that God didn’t really mean what he said when he said that they would die if they partook of the fruit. But God meant what he said, and he still means what he says today, too. I’ve been happily married now for over 40 years but many years ago I experienced a temptation like what is described above, but under different circumstances. Now looking back, I can see exactly why I was being drawn away from my devotion to my husband, but here’s the thing that saved me, and if you’re in this situation it can and will save you, too. If you are stuck right now in the place where you don’t know if you want to stay with your spouse because your feelings for them have drifted away, and you don’t know if you should go because your feelings for this other person who so understands you has blossomed, there is a way out. 

You see, God has given us free choice. To obey him, or not. To choose life, not death. But he will not force us to do either. It is our choice. But what he will do, is support your choice to do what is right.  I believe that God has his angels poised, surrounding those about to make a life-altering decision for or against God’s best plan for their life. They’re just waiting, ready to jump in with God’s miraculous help, the second you think or say: “God, please help me. Help me, help me, help me; I won’t do this. I will honour my vows. I will go back and together with your help, make my marriage shine.” The second you do this, the tide begins to flow the other way. Do you immediately feel better? Chances are, no, you won’t. You won’t immediately feel better because it may have taken you 6 months to get to this place, and it will take more than 6 minutes for God to work the miracle in your heart to restore the devotion you need for your spouse. But here’s the thing: He will do it. I can personally attest to this: What you go back to can be more wonderful than you ever imagined, because you passed the test. You’ve gained a great victory. You chose what is right—you chose obedience over disobedience; life and not death. The marriage that was yours before is no more, because God can and will make it better than you thought possible. He can restore the love in your heart to bursting, for the same person you almost left.

​Psalm 19:13 says this, and I remember relying on this verse. I actually said it out loud, as I prayed it: “Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me; then will I be blameless and innocent of great transgression.” If you are in this place watch and see what God will do with a right choice. You will not regret it. With God all things are possible.