How does a Christian continue believing God when they’ve been relying on God to come through for them in the most desperate of circumstances, and God allows their lives to be utterly shattered when He doesn’t come through as they’d hoped...

I have written on this topic before and will probably write more on it because I believe enlightenment regarding this comes in stages and with growth. The Lord recently revealed more and I needed to share it with you. I’m not going to candy-coat this. This is raw and as honest as I can be.
 
There is an easy answer, except if you’ve gone through it yourself. Then there is no easy answer. We lost our dear son-in-law Jeff through cancer. God’s word said we were to trust Him in every circumstance and to lean on His promises. God’s word said to hold on to those promises and cling to them even though all natural evidence pointed to the reality that our loved one was slipping away. We were expected to be 100% in faith, to truly believe that God would heal him, even at the 11th hour, or even as he took his last breath, and yet he slipped away. How do we be 100% in faith for our loved one to live, and then pick up the pieces of our shattered dreams, hopes, expectation and very lives when they don’t? Where can we find relief? What now? How could a benevolent God who says He is always faithful allow this? It would appear that my testimony about God’s never-ending faithfulness has holes in it. Is that it? Is that the end of our story? Does our outcome invalidate God’s promises in His word?

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No, it isn’t, and no, it doesn’t. But we can’t go back to the way we were before the experience and be the same.  Our entire families have now been forever changed, but it isn’t the end of our story, and it doesn’t mean God failed us.
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I have come to this conclusion: Life on planet earth is fraught with tragedies and miracles every single day. We already believe in God. My question is not whether or not God can deliver my loved one, it is whether or not God will deliver my loved one in the way I hope. Ultimately, we are all saved from disease. Ultimately, we are all saved from death. Death is an actual thing that will be thrown into the lake of fire at the end of the age. (Revelation 20:14) And when we were conceived in our mother’s womb and became a living eternal spirit, we are ultimately saved from a living death in Hell thanks to accepting Jesus. But you may still ask: Why bother praying for our loved one to be healed, if they are not going to be healed to continue living with us on earth. Answer? Because God told us to. And because our prayers matter.
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​I have personally been involved in what I believe are divine interventions, potentially saving my life and the life of my unborn child. I also believe that these divine interventions were specifically tied to my close walk with God and studying and relying on His word, in this case Psalm 91. I had memorized it because I love it, especially the part that says: “He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” I confessed this over my life regularly and I believed it. Then came the day I was travelling down a major street, alone on the road except a car heading towards me from the opposite direction signalling to go left at the next intersection. For some reason the driver of the other car thought I was also signalling to go left when in fact I was simply passing through a green light. They turned right into me at full force and my large car ended up leaning high on the corner light pole. I literally had to jump down out of the car. The police attending the accident said I was very lucky. In light of Psalm 91, luck had nothing to do with it. I literally did not strike my foot against a stone, and my car and myself were lifted up in angels’ hands to save me. I don’t just believe God was involved; I know that I know He was involved and I believe Psalm 91 had something to do with it. Another time I was again driving down a major street when a car came shooting out of a side street as they’d run right through their stop sign. I was 9 months pregnant with my third child and I was T-boned. The car hit me broadside, just beyond my door. Had I been a split second later, he would have hit me, very likely killing me and my unborn child, not to mention my other daughter in the back. The car was totalled. These are two examples. I do have others just as miraculous.

Now, years later and a lifetime filled with God’s blessings, interventions, prayer requests that received “yes” responses as well as some that received “no”, our dear son-in-law is fighting for his life due to cancer. As a family and personally, I have never prayed harder, never believed stronger, never fought against the enemy of doubt with the full armor of God on, more intensely. We all hunkered down. I made a quality decision to be a dispenser of hope as well as a prisoner of hope. After all was said and done, our Lord brought him home and we were crushed, but not as the world understands crushed. We were like the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:8 being pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair. We were deeply grieved, but not without our living Hope.

In saying all this the reality is that you and I are going to face trials and tribulations and there is no 100% method of conduct, prayer or faith on our part that will guarantee the outcome we want, here and now. However, and this is a BIG however, the choice of who you go through it with, is yours. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy; Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. This is not a contradiction in terms in regards to our losing Jeff. God didn’t save me from those car accidents, but He did save me in those car accidents. God didn’t save our son-in-law from death, but He did save him to bring him home. Satan could not kill him, just as Satan couldn’t kill me, and couldn’t kill Jesus. I guess what I want to say to everyone is this:  We have no idea if doing life with God, having faith in Him will give us our expectation, but we can know this: Your faith, your perseverance, your giving it your all does matter and it does play a part in the circumstance.  He will never leave us alone, and I believe He not only can, but will make our losing Jeff beautiful, in His time. The only other choice, is to turn your back on God thereby placing your life in the hands of Satan, where you can be 100% sure to expect the worst outcome imaginable, guaranteed. If you want to be killed, be stolen from and destroyed, he is your ticket. You don’t have to fear the worst, because it can be counted on.

The most important outcome isn’t whether or not we get our healing or our miracle. The most important outcome is that The Great I Am is traveling this course with us, and that there is much more to come beyond our acute disappointment that will turn our ashes into beauty, both in the here and now, and in the world to come. 

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